As the lone gamer in my family, save for when my sister and I would co-op single player games like Emperor’s new groove, Rugrats, Saw and Call of Duty Campaigns (I know, weird lineup but these are the most vivid games I remember), it was more than a little jarring for me to join gaming communities that harbored toxicity. While my first online experience, save for those games like Toontown and Club Penguin that we all played as kids, was left 4 dead, I didn’t experience true toxicity until I started playing overwatch. 

I already hear the cringing and wincing, I know. I know.. 

I got into that game strictly because my partner played overwatch when he was younger, and I wanted to play games he liked that he could teach me. 

This was a few years ago now, and I’m more accustomed to toxicity and how to deal with it. And most importantly, how to not react to it. And these are tips and tricks I learned that I want to share with you to hopefully make playing the games you love more enjoyable. Overwatch, marvel rivals, fortnite, valorant… these are for you.

I’m putting this tip as number one because it is going to be the hardest one (it was, and STILL is for me, just ask my partner!), but the most important to implement. There are quite a few toxic gamers out there who stop chatting when they don’t get a response from their intended target, or anyone at all. And no, this isn’t limited to not typing or not turning on your mic. This is for every reaction that could possibly point out the fact that you heard or read what they said, and it’s getting to you. 

Don’t shoot at them. Don’t walk in front of them and stare at their character. Don’t spam a voice line. Just don’t do anything, and keep on gaming.

It hurts more when you act like you don’t even care, or never even saw it.

Which goes into my number 2:

That way, you can actually NOT see it at all. One of the best things I’ve ever done to overwatch 2 is turn off chat completely. In that game, there’s a lot of pointing of fingers and problematic teammates who want to pretend like they aren’t the problem (and hint: they usually are) and these people resort to spamming chat and targeting someone. 

While sometimes helpful things are said in chat, it’s usually not the case and I’ve never felt more at peace while playing that game since I made that decision. 

This game launched on xbox, but is able to play on PC via steam. You can plug in your controllers if you’re a console gamer and you are able to mod this game on PC for extra fun and replayability! Teletubbies zombies? Boss zombie is Patrick the starfish? Let’s do it. 

Gaming is supposed to be a fun way to relax and have fun, and just like how there are bad apples in real life, so they live in our gaming spaces. And you have the right to protect your peace in any way you can.

If turning off your entire chat is too much to you and you want to see it for when you have those REALLY good games or for the possibility of making a new gamer friend, I understand. That’s why you can mute and block specific players. 

If someone is being toxic or annoying, head over to their profile or hover over their name, you can easily zap their yap out of existence with the click of a button! No need to feel shameful or like you’re giving in by doing this. And don’t forget to report if necessary.

If someone is being REALLY nasty or throwing over the stupidest reason, your report could easily be the push to get them banned not only from your space, but from other fellow, chill gamers who picked up their controller to vibe (as we should!).

Gaming is meant for fun, and nobody wants to keep around a negative nancy. 

Sometimes we just get tilted playing games, and I think that’s okay. A lot of gamers are competitive by nature, some more than others, and a few maybe not at all (those are probably the cozy community mostly!) And whether that is you, your gaming group in the discord call or your stranger teammates raging in chat, consider being the kinder soul of the lobby, it can often even make you feel better!

I find it pretty wholesome when almost an entire lobby says “GG” (good game) in chat whether they were on the losing team that got dog walked, or the winning team. 

Good sportsmanship is an absolute vibe and even if that’s not something you dish out, consider responding with it when you’re on the receiving end at least! Or if “GG” is too boring, there’s always “yall ate.”

For my fellow competitive gamers out there, PLEASE monitor your feelings and know when it’s time to curtain call on ranked. I sometimes find myself riled up by my partner being riled up, or by toxicity like teabagging or struggling with teammates that don’t seem to be carrying their own weight.

It happens! Toxicity exists everywhere, none of us are perfect and all of us have bad games. If you’re sinking into your chair further and further, if the knees are weak, palms are sweaty, or there’s vomit on your- 

Sorry. If you know, you know. 

But seriously. You need to really, really check in on yourself consistently. Become aware of your signs of when you are starting to be worn down by competitive games, and if you can’t, try asking your partner or friends to point it out to you. Do you get quieter and stop joking around? Do you start yelling or cursing when you lose? And make plans to break yourself from this before it becomes a vicious cycle, where you’re only getting angrier and angrier.

Whether that’s turning off the game and moving to something cozy like stardew valley or animal crossing, having a discord movie night with the group or heading to bed with your partner to wind down… do that instead. Breaks are okay and necessary to a healthy gaming lifestyle!

The game will be there tomorrow and you’ll feel lighter! And maybe that lightness is all you need to kick some booty tomorrow and finally hit that next rank!

Just remember that the online gaming world can be chaotic (and I learned that the hard way for sure), but it doesn’t have to ruin your experience. Don’t let anyone take away the joy you feel when gaming, if they’re that toxic online, they’re just unhappy in real life and it doesn’t need to affect you. Take the necessary steps to protect your peace, always!

At the end of the day, you’re gaming to have fun, connect, and maybe rage a little if you’re a competitive gamer. 

If you’re anything like me, sure it’s amazing to climb rank and feel like you’re getting better at a game or a character, but the real victory is keeping your vibes (and your sanity) intact.